Independent play is one of those things that every parent/caregiver hopes for but sometimes seems out of reach. Some kids are absolutely fantastic with independent play but others really struggle. This is not a bad thing!  Our children love us and love playing with us but as parents and caregivers we can’t constantly be entertaining them or available to play with them, even when we want to be. Forcing your child to play independently can often backfire if we don’t set them up for success and give them the tools they need to enjoy playing independently. Here are some tips we found to help encourage your child in independent play. 

Be Patient

This is the most important way that you can help your child succeed in independent play. Give your kiddo lots of patience, especially if they haven’t practiced independent play before. The average attention span of a two year old is 4-6 minutes, and the average attention span of a five year old is only 12-18 minutes!  If you are expecting your two or even five year old to play the same thing for 30 minutes that’s way above the average attention span. This is not to say that your two or five year old can’t play independently for 30 minutes or even 1 hour but they can’t focus on just one toy and remain captivated for that long. This brings up the second tip.

Open-Ended Toys 

Did you know there are specific toys that can help your child play independently for longer periods of time? Open-ended toys are simply defined as toys that can be played with in multiple different ways. These types of toys such as blocks, dolls, magnatiles, art supplies, cars, etc. specifically foster, play, creativity, and imagination. Not every child will play with these toys in the same way and that is the benefit of it. Open-ended toys like blocks can become a tower, a house, or a road for a car to drive on all in the space of five minutes; this open-ended idea increases the play time for your child and keeps them occupied. This is not to say that open-ended toys are the only good toys to play with; puzzles are a great close-ended toy but maybe just not the right one for encouraging long periods of independent play. 

Getting Started 

Now that you are ready with a little bit of patience and some fun open-ended toys this is a good time (if you haven’t already done so) to evaluate where your child is in regards to independent play. 

A great way to figure this out is, while you're playing with your child, tell them you’ll be right back and see how they respond. Are they automatically running right after you? Or are they ok for five minutes or so? This gives you good insight into how comfortable they are with independent play. 

Time to Play 

To slowly build up the amount of time your child plays independently use a timer that your child can see. Whether that be a visual countdown timer or a sand timer, it should be something that your child can see and understand.  If you just tell your three year old that you’ll be back in two minutes; they have no idea how long that is! Giving them a visual timer helps them to understand how long they will play independently and also introduces the concept of time. 

Independent; Not Alone 

Sometimes kids are scared of playing independently because they don't want to be alone. Remember that independent play is not necessarily playing away from you. For your family it could look like you folding the laundry, washing the dishes, or even reading a book while your three year old builds with magna tiles next to you, that is still independent play!  

When to Communicate  

If you are encouraging independent play don’t comment too much on what your child is doing, it can be hard to resist those interjections such as “wow look at your tower, it's so tall” or “do you need help making that?”. These aren’t bad comments but, when you comment, it automatically brings you into their play making it not so independent after all. On the opposite side of things don’t forget to talk about independent play. Tell your child the plan, communicate when you are playing with them and when it is time for them to play by themselves. This reminds them that they are safe and reinforces that you are always there even when you aren’t directly playing with them! 

It’s Their Play 

Let’s remember that independent play is based on your child so it should be what they want to play, not necessarily what you expect them to play. Obviously this is within reason but if your two year old wants to build the exact same tower with blocks 105 times that is ok! Let them control their narrative and later when it’s your turn you can build something out of your imagination 😅

Independent play is different for every child, but we hope these tips help you get started 

Do you have any other ideas for encouraging independent play? Dm us on Instagram, we’d love to hear your ideas! 

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