Teaching Manners to Kids
Not many of us remember when we learned our manners and nowadays “please” and “thank you” comes naturally without us (hopefully😜) even having to think about it.
But when and how do we teach manners to our kids? In this blog post we want to share what manners we are teaching our kids, and give some ideas for teaching that have worked for us. Keep reading for our tried and true tips!
What to teach?
Manners can cover such a wide variety of topics, keeping your elbows off the table, proper phone etiquette, saying the “magic word”, taking turns, showing empathy, and so many more. Kids definitely can't learn it all at once so these are our suggestions on which manners to start with:
Polite words
The most common and often easiest place to start teaching manners is beginning with the “magic words”. This is one of the best manners to start teaching your child even before they can talk!
Begin with teaching your infant/toddler simple sign language for “please” and “thank you” (check out this video for a fun song to listen to and learn!) This gets them used to the process of when to say “please” and “thank you” and understanding it early on.
For older children the most effective teaching method is practice! You can help them practice and learn through pretend play by having a tea party or being at a fancy restaurant. As they get used to saying their “pleases” and “thank yous” you can add in “your welcome” and “excuse me” to their vocabulary as well!
Taking/Waiting Turns
This one can be tough but children have to learn to take turns just like everyone else! The playground is such a fantastic way to help them learn this hands on; waiting for the swings or a turn on the slide gives them great practice!
Taking turns can also include taking turns to speak, children are ready to blurt out anything on their minds and have to be taught how to wait and not interrupt when someone else is speaking. This article by verywell family had a great idea for helping kids to learn to wait their turn to speak:
“To help kids learn this habit, parents can try using a visual reminder, such as a stuffed animal or a talking stick. Simply have everyone talk only when it’s their turn to hold the talking stick to teach kids how to wait for their turn to speak.”
Empathy
Empathy can be a hard one to explain to your kids but I find that often using the word “kindness” helps them understand the idea a little bit easier.
Empathy can be shown in so many simple ways that we probably don’t even think about; such as holding the door for someone or offering to help when we see someone struggling with a heavy load. These are things we do without thinking but have to be taught to our kids. It’s about teaching them to look beyond their own needs and seeing others who may need help.
Empathy is about showing respect and consideration to others and that can look like teaching our older children to use kind words and actions toward others, not teasing or name calling but showing care through their words,
A simple approach to teaching empathy/kindness is to ask your child (preschoolers and older) before bed what was one act of kindness they did today and one act of kindness they saw someone else do! These questions will help them think about where they saw and identify kindness as well as encourage them to keep showing kindness if they can’t think of one for the day!
Hygiene
Although it's not always considered a manners lesson, teaching children hygiene is crucial.The best ways to teach children these fundamental hygiene habits—which include washing hands, brushing teeth, and covering one's mouth when coughing or sneezing—are through routine and repetition. As long as you maintain your consistency, these positive habits will eventually become second nature. Initially, you can assist toddlers in learning the value of basic hygiene by providing them with assistance.
How to teach?
Now that we know the manners to teach let's look at a few more tips for how to help your kids learn their manners!
Modeling Behavior
Lead by example: Since kids pick up on our behaviors from us, it's important to examine our own behavior closely. Do you respond with “please” and “thank you” when necessary? How are you communicating with your children and others around you? Are you courteous and respectful in your daily life? It is so vital to evaluate your own manners and be willing to make adjustments if necessary. This will help your child learn their manners as they use you as a role model!
Correcting and Praising
It is so important to praise good behavior; let your children know how proud you are when you see them being polite. Your child wants to please you. The more positive attention they get for using their manners, the more likely they will become ingrained. So, praise your child when you catch them showing good manners!
When needed it is ok to show disapproval but make sure to explain why. Help them to understand what expectations and manners were not met so that they can work on it next time! We must explain to kids what constitutes more when we tell them we expect more of them when they misbehave.
Make it Fun
Learning manners doesn’t have to be a chore. In fact, you can make it fun for your child by turning it into a game. For example, you can play “manners bingo” where your child has to check off different manners they’ve used throughout the day. You can also practice different scenarios by playing the "What would you do if..." game. What will they do, for instance, if at their birthday party they receive the same gift from two children or if one of the children feels excluded? After that, give your child feedback and assist them in investigating appropriate and polite behavior in these diverse situations.
Playing games like "Fancy Restaurant", as we mentioned earlier, requires us to picture ourselves dining in a classy restaurant. Go all out by dressing for the event, setting the table and practicing polite dinner conversation, pleasant manners, and ideal table etiquette.
Teaching manners can be tricky but it is so important as we set our kids up for success! Do you have any other suggestions on teaching kids manners? Dm us, we would love to hear them!
As always, thanks for reading! Stay tuned for more blog posts and don’t forget to follow us on Instagram, or like us on Facebook for more content!